I have often spoken about reference points throughout the year, those events that happen and you look back and say, this time last year I was at this point and i’m here now, and you may congratulate yourself on how far you have travelled.
Well what if you haven’t travelled, what if you feel like you haven’t got anywhere at all, or may even have gone backwards. What if your life has completely transformed, and not in a good way, what if actually you’re not moving forward at all, what if you don’t really know where to go, where to start and actually just getting up and getting dressed is a struggle, because you simply just don’t know what to do with your life.
Telling you that lots of people feel like this, that I’ve felt like this, just doesn’t help, knowing that other people have got through it doesn’t help either, because you’re not those other people, you’re not me, you are you, and where you are now is individual to you.
I think about this a lot because I work with people who are right there now, I have friends, colleagues who are right there and I’ve been there ~ sometimes you revisit ‘there’ as well. Life is like this. It has that habit!
But how do you keep moving forward, how do you simply get up, put on the ‘I can do this’’ front?
For me, and I can only speak for me, I suppose I have developed an inner sense of knowing and that inner sense of knowing often isn’t very big or strong, but it is there. It’s not a knowing that it will all be ok it’s different to that. It is a bit like walking a very long journey, it’s a beautiful walk and at times you have the sense of knowing exactly where you are going, of what it is going to look like, you have a clear picture in your head and you can see the path ahead of you clear and sunny. Then without notice the road inclines upwards, and the mist starts to fall, it starts getting dark. You take out your torch and it’s great because you can still see a long way ahead with your torch lighting up the path ahead. But then the batteries in your torch fail and you have to dig out the one on your keys, that one you got out the cracker one Christmas, the light is smaller, you can only see a few steps ahead. Just when you start to have faith it’s going to be ok that fails too. It is hopeless, you can’t see, you feel like you just want to sit down because what is the point you can’t see anything but darkness.
The point is, your feet are on the ground, it is there, it will always be there, you only need to travel forward. As your eyes become accustomed to the dark you only need to have faith that as you put your foot forward as true as day follows the night, your foot will place itself on a surface that can be strong enough to bear your weight and your weight will shift to the other foot moving you forward. That is the inner sense of knowing that the ground will take you, that there is ground there that you can walk on. As you do so, that sense will develop to a sense of at this time of your life, or mine, will pass, you will travel through it, the mist will lift, the darkness will fade into light, the road you are travelling will become clear in time. It is just at this time, you can’t go as fast as you would normally, but you will travel forward all you need to do is take a step and put your other foot on the ground.
Often we concern ourselves with whether what we are doing is right, that it is the right step, that it is step that takes us in the right direction, that moves us closer to our goal. We agonise over the step and so then we don’t take the step because we don’t know if the step is right, we simply stand still, When we are in that place, where we don’t know what is the right step, it really doesn’t matter what the step is, we just have to take a step, because every step we take is a right step. So just doing something is enough, it is a step, it may be small, but even a small step is significant and needs to be recognised as that.
So if you are here, at that place, aim to take one step every day, something that makes you get up and put on your ‘I can do this’ front even if you don’t actually believe it. If necessary write them down, put them in your diary, make those small steps happen. Because one day, when you do put on that front, you will believe it just that little bit more and next year, when you think about where you were this time last year, you’ll be able to see that road that you have travelled, because the darkness would have lifted and the road ahead will be a little clear to you too.